焦慮是戒得掉的：不再自己嚇自己的四個練習

—賈斯汀常常為了工作失眠 (其實工作好好的，但他就是無法放鬆)
　　—露西亞擔憂她的小孩 (其實他們都是大人了)
　　—蓋蒂要化療，雖然醫生覺得情況還不錯，但她總覺得「完蛋了，完蛋了！」
　　—曼尼想交女朋友，但只要一想到要跟女生見面，就滿腦子自己先前挫敗的經驗…

　　人類大腦具備一種警戒系統，一旦偵測到危險，就會產生焦慮的反射動作：腎上腺素升高，坐立不安……。這本來是為了讓人在叢林或野地，遇到危險能快速逃命之用，但是卻讓在現代的都市叢林的我們，深受其苦。

　　大多數人對於自己焦慮的描述，劇情都差不多：
　　—萬一哪裡出了差錯該怎麼辦？
　　—萬一我讓自己出糗了該怎麼辦？

　　這些感覺讓平穩站在地上的你，感覺像是快要掉到懸崖下去！

　　罪魁禍首就在這個初念（第一個想法）。很多人面對刺激，第一個想法總是「很負面」，然而這些嚇人的第一想法，但卻不一定是事實。比如：湯姆正在做簡報，他發現大家不是很專心，有人在看手機，傳訊息，有人顯出不耐煩的樣子。湯姆越來越緊張，不知該怎麼說下去…

　　在這個案例中，湯姆看見會議中同事的反應，他的第一個想法，是把他們解讀成別人討厭自己，或者自己表現不好，可是這並非事實。但這個解讀卻誤導了湯姆了身心狀態，讓他產生不自然的反應。可以說，焦慮就像是過度保護的孩子的父母，雖然出於好意，卻會讓人被牢牢控制住，無法自然舒展自己，甚至會影響一個人的表現結果。因為人處在焦慮的身心反應中，時間都花在這些身心反應上，或錯失機會把時間花在做事上。

　　本書作者說，焦慮就像亂叫的狗。你要花10分鐘聽狗亂叫，還是叫牠閉嘴，讓你可以清淨地思考並解決問題呢？作者提供了一套實用的方法，讓大家面對問題時，能阻止自己進入焦慮的迴圈，直接進入解決問題的流程！

　　◎戒除焦慮的四個步驟

　　1.暫停，並重新貼標籤
　　當你引發焦慮的第一個想法（負面想法）出現的時候，不要把它當成事實。這時也不需強迫自己「正面思考」，只要「不負面思考」就好！如此迅速阻斷進入焦慮情緒的引爆點。

　　2.挑出真正的問題
　　你的偵察系統發出危險訊息，必定有幾分真實性，雖然可能不如你的第一想法那麼糟，但是事情可能有其挑戰性或棘手之處，與其一心一意認定「整個都毀了」，不如細看情況，到底真正的問題出在哪裡？或者最大的困難點在哪裡？

　　3.找到最佳作法
　　不要認定事情一定是怎麼樣，或者事情一定怎能怎麼樣？保持彈性，想想其他可能性，把自己從「萬一………怎麼辦？」的恐怖情境，轉換成「如果……會怎麼樣？」找到希望的光芒。

　　4.展開行動
　　除了在想法上做些轉念，現在你需要做出一個能夠讓你困住的大腦轉變想法的作為。從簡單的，隨手可以做到的小事開始……

Bill Gates Rules

Bill Gates recently gave a Commencement speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes; learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

夢想

文 / 李安

1978年，當我準備報考美國伊利諾大學的戲劇電影系時，父親十分反感，他給我列了一個資料：在美國百老匯，每年只有兩百個角色，但卻有五萬人要一起爭奪這少得可憐的角色。當時我一意孤行，決意登上了去美國的班機，父親和我的關係從此惡化，近二十年間和我說的話不超過一百句！

但是，等我幾年後從電影學院畢業，我終於明⋯⋯白了父親的苦心所在。在美國電影界，一個沒有任何背景的華人要想混出名堂來，談何容易。從1983年起，我經過了六年的漫長而無望的等待，大多數時候都是幫劇組看看器材、做點剪輯助理、劇務之類的雜事。最痛苦的經歷是，曾經拿著一個劇本，兩個星期跑了三十多家公司，一次次面對別人的白眼和拒絕。

那時候，我已經將近三十歲了。古人說：三十而立。而我連自己的生活都還沒法自立，怎麼辦？繼續等待，還是就此放棄心中的電影夢？幸好。我的妻子給了我最及時的鼓勵。

妻子是我的大學同學，但她是學生物學的，畢⋯⋯業後在當地一家小研究室做藥物研究員，薪水少得可憐。那時候我們已經有了大兒子李涵，為了緩解內心的愧疚，我每天除了在家裡讀書、看電影、寫劇本外，還包攬了所有家務，負責買菜做飯帶孩子，將家裡收拾得乾乾淨淨。還記得那時候，每天傍晚做完晚飯後，我就和兒子坐在門口，一邊講故事給他聽，一邊等待"英勇的獵人媽媽帶著獵物（生活費）回家"。

這樣的生活對一個男人來說，是很傷自尊心的。有段時間，岳父母讓妻子給我一筆錢，讓我拿去開個中餐館，也好養家糊口，但好強的妻子拒絕了，把錢還給了老人家。我知道了這件事後，輾轉反側想了好幾個晚上，終於下定決心：也許這輩子電影夢都離我太遠了，還是面對現實吧。

後來，我去了社區大學，看了半天，最後心酸地報了一門電腦課。在那個生活壓倒一切的年代裡，似乎只有電腦可以在最短時間內讓我有一技之長了。那幾天我一直萎靡不振，妻子很快就發現了我的反常，細心的她發現了我包裡的課程表。那晚，她一宿沒和我說話。

第二天，去上班之前，她快上車了，突然，她站在臺階下轉過身來，一字一句地告訴我："安，要記得你心裡的夢想！"

那一刻，我心裡像突然起了一陣風，那些快要淹沒在庸碌生活裡的夢想，像那個早上的陽光，一直射進心底。妻子上車走了，我拿出包裡的課程表，慢慢地撕成碎片，丟進了門口的垃圾桶。

後來，我的劇本得到基金會的贊助，我開始自己拿起了攝像機，再到後來，一些電影開始在國際上獲獎。這個時候，妻子重提舊事，她才告訴我："我一直就相信，人只要有一項長處就足夠了，你的長處就是拍電影。學電腦的人那麼多，又不差你李安一個，你要想拿到奧斯卡的小金人，就一定要保證心裡有夢想。"

如今，我終於拿到了小金人。我覺得自己的忍耐、妻子的付出終於得到了回報，同時也讓我更加堅定，一定要在電影這條路上一直走下去。

因為，我心裡永遠有一個關於電影的夢。

出處: 《讀者》

How To Write Your Own Killer Cover Letter

http://www.blogging4jobs.com/job-search/how-to-write-your-own-killer-cover-letter/

 

by shannonsmedstad on December 23, 2012

 

There you are. Sitting in your chair, reading the headline of this blog post, wondering … “Really, do I even need a cover letter anymore?” And, the short answer is: Sometimes. There are some hiring managers that still want to read cover letters and require them as part of the screening process. You see, many people get assistance in writing their resumes, but the cover letter is often left up to the job seeker to write. Unassisted.

Cover letters give the reader insight into your personality, achievements and writing skills. So, just like your resume, be sure that your cover letter is free of grammatical errors. Here are a few other tips for writing your own killer cover letter.

COVER LETTER TIPS FROM AN HR PRO

When possible, address your cover letter to an actual person, then begin with a strong opening statement that demonstrates your interest in a specific job. I also like when candidates tell me where they saw the job posting, as it helps me gauge the ROI on advertising sources.

Dear Ms. Smith:

When I read ABC’s posting for a Human Resources Business Partner on LinkedIn, my interest was immediately sparked.

The cover letter is a great place to highlight some of your significant career accomplishments. Can you name three to five things that make you an awesome candidate? Good. Include them on your cover letter. Entice the hiring manager (or recruiter / HR generalist) to want to read more.

As a motivated human resources professional with more than XX years of experience working at DEFG Co., I contributed to the company’s success by:

• Really significant accomplishment

• Quantifiable career highlight

• Huge project that put your name on the map

• Major kudos received for doing this

Since you are essentially selling a company on why to choose you, your cover letter and resume become your most important marketing tools. Like any pitch, you want to close strong.

During my last review, the vice president referred to me as “a key member of the DEFG team … that delivers results and builds cohesion along the way.” As you can see from my background, I have the experience you are looking for in an HR Business Partner. In addition, I am very interested in becoming a key member of the ABC team and in speaking with you further. I can be reached at 301.XXX.XXXX.

A FEW OTHER QUICK TIPS ON COVER LETTER WRITING

1. Keep it short and sweet. No one wants or has time to read through a novella.
2. Include your heading at the top, similar to the one you use on your resume.
3. Read over it aloud a few times to ensure everything reads well.
4. Proofread it again and again; don’t rely on spell check to pick up all errors.
Have any other cover letter tips? Feel free to share them below.
Get more resume writing and cover letter tips, by downloading Blogging4Jobs’ FREE career toolkit including resume and coverletter templates. Click here.